
![butterfly on a flower](/images/paying-attention.jpeg)

I turned 28 recently. This was, perhaps, the best year of my life.

What made it so great? It wasn’t one big thing. Not a big achievement or milestone. Not one life changing trip (I did go to Tokyo, it was amazing).

It was the little things. Every morning walk. Every afternoon coffee. Every dinner date. Every visit to my parents’. Every embrace. Every time I said “I love you.” Each of these great moments made for a great day. And a lot of great days added up to a great year.

When I was younger I thought a great moment was when you “accomplished the big thing.” Like when you won the race or aced your finals or bought the thing you always wanted. Something that makes you scream and shout and cheer. But what I missed was that there are incredible, moving, touching, awe-inspiring moments in every day life — if you’re looking for it.

I used to dread my birthday. It was a sign of aging and I hated the idea that I was one year older and yet I didn’t feel one year smarter or better or more successful. But the benefit of aging is that it comes with some perspective: it finally sunk in that my time here is finite.

If we only have so many days, why spend it on things that aren’t worth it? Thanks to that little mindset shift, plus some daily meditation, a solid morning routine, and a whole lot of gratitude, this year took a different turn.

I started to pay attention. As you pay attention, you start to notice how the tall tree sways in the wind on your street. The way your friend’s voice takes flight when she’s happy. How a simple smile from your partner can light up your world. Pretty soon you get good at paying attention, and you notice more. A lot more. Your mind starts to reshape and you see the world with completely new eyes: you listen more closely when someone is speaking. You put your phone down more often. You hear the birds in the morning. You take note every time you see a butterfly.

With each moment of beauty you collect, you start to feel like life is a little higher resolution than before. Like you’re squeezing every bit of juice out of each and every second. That beauty then evolves into gratitude — gratitude for this gift of aliveness. That gratitude then seeps into your psyche like warm honey. It sweetens everything it touches and pretty soon instead of one good day a week, you have five. Five good days turn into fifteen. Then a month. Then three months. Pretty soon, you get a really good year.

As simple as it sounds, it all started for me with paying attention, one day at a time. It certainly wasn’t a straight path and the journey began long before this past year, but I’m proud to say this it’s finally “working.” Sadly, with all the distractions in our modern age, it’s more difficult than ever, but if you learn to focus on the things that really matter and tune out the rest, life starts to get really good.

If I were to give a younger version of myself some advice right now, it’d be: every day turn off your phone and sit still for fifteen minutes. Those fifteen minutes add up quickly and pretty soon you’ll see the world a whole new way.


Paying Attention

![sitting on the beach](/images/just-waves.jpeg)

> Swept Up Whole 
> You aren't swept up whole, 
> however it feels. You're 
> atomized. The wind passes. 
> You recongeal. It's 
> a surprise. 
>
> by Kay Ryan

This weekend, after a particularly stressful month, I went to the beach for some alone time.

I arrived heavy, the burden of work, relationships, ambitions, and self-doubt on my shoulders. I sat down for about an hour, and then, remarkably, I felt lighter. Nature has a way of doing that. 

Watching the waves is peaceful. They're both relentless and invariably unique. They have crashed for every beachgoer since the dawn of time and will continue to do so long after humans are extinct. While there will always be waves, each one is different, unique, and interesting. Some delicate and calm; others violent and dangerous; each beautiful.

In the past couple months, there've been a number of times where I wish things went differently, or I’m feeling anxious about how a future situation might go. What if it doesn’t happen the way I want it to? Or if only I could just go back in time, then I could just do it differently. Then things would be so much better, things wouldn’t be so tough, in fact life would be amazing.

Have you ever went for a swim and got caught in the waves? You try to swim against it, but you get tumbled and you don’t know which way is up. You fight and yet you can’t find the surface. Scary.

But the next time you go for a swim, you might find that you can watch for when waves are coming, relax as it washes over you, and come up for air once it passes. Much better.

I've found most things in life to be pretty similar. Happy things, sad things, good things, bad things, it's all just like waves. Some pleasant, some scary, none ever the same. But, if you take the time to notice, each one can be just as beautiful. You also have to remember, you can’t stop the waves, they'll keep coming. Time doesn't slow for anyone. But you can learn to swim. Let them come, surrender to their power, and before you know it, you might even start to enjoy just being in the water.

And isn’t that the whole point?

Writing